Being a parent is a rewarding and amazing experience. Yet, there are moments when you feel so exhausted and consumed with worry you can barely breathe right?! This is something that only gets harder as our children age and their problems and life choices become bigger and more far reaching!
Last week my husband was out of town and I was really struggling to keep up. It was 9:00 P.M. on a school night and I was trying to help one of my 4 boys to finish his homework. He was frustrated and right on the verge of falling apart when one of my teenage sons started acting up and stomping around the house. I was trying my best to stay calm and handle the situation as quickly as I could because my other two boys were still waiting for my undivided attention so we could celebrate and talk about their day. With it being time for bed and everything happening at once, I had to hurry them all off to bed. As the house became quieter I felt a crushing wave of guilt, inadequacy, and worry because I hadn't been able to give them all the focus, patience, and attention they really needed!
Can you relate?
Negative emotions like these are designed to let us know when we have a need that's not being taken care of. These uncomfortable feelings are designed to be painful so we'll take action and get the need met... So what happens when we can't get the need met like when loved ones die, kids get sick, people get divorced, things happen we can't always fix...what then?
In these difficult moments, we can ease the negative emotion by simply acknowledging the need and giving ourselves empathy and compassion because the need is most likely not going to be fulfilled. This helps discharge the energy so we can be at peace even when things are difficult.
Since we all are faced with difficult situations we can't always control, I wanted to share a tapping clearing that helps when you're feeling stressed and worried as a parent.
This is a Meridian Tapping Clearing. To learn more about Tapping, click here to download a free picture guide and instructions.
Refer to the picture the picture here and start tapping the acupressure points while repeating the following statements: (It doesn't matter which side or hand you use when tapping the points. Just use your fingertips and do what feels most comfortable.)
Tap the Side of Your Hand: Even though I feel this heart wrenching worry about my kids, sometimes it just feels like they are not okay but they won't let me help, I'm doing the best I know how. Every time I do try and help it seems like most or all of my efforts are hitting a wall, sometimes I feel so discouraged. I am choosing to give myself compassion and empathy, this is really hard.
The truth is, I really need for them to be okay and I'm worried they won't be, I need to feel like they're safe and not headed for a painful path but it feels like there's only so much I can do at the moment. I am choosing to give myself compassion and empathy because this need might not get met and it really hurts.
Even though I worry about my kids, I need them to be safe and okay and right now in this moment its feeling like they might not be... I love and accept myself as a parent, I'm doing the best that I know how and I appreciate me for loving my children and wanting what's best of them.
Inside of eyebrow: This part of me that's feeling heartbroken because I can't always save them from the pains of life and/or their less than perfect choices.
Side of eye: It breaks my heart to watch them struggle and I feel completely powerless to fix it or help!
Under the eye: Because I haven't been able to fix or ease their problems, I feel helpless and inadequate.
Under the nose: My heart is broken, it hurts knowing they're experiencing pain and struggle or even choosing it!
Chin: I hate feeling helpless and powerless..
Collarbone: Even though I'm hurting, there's a part of me that knows that sometimes the painful choices we make are the ones that teach us the most.
Under the arm: There's a part of me that knows we all have to learn painful lessons at some point, but it still hurts when I can't stop it or at least prepare them..
Top of the head: I wonder what I can do.
Inside of eyebrow: I can love them.
Side of eye: I can listen.
Under the eye: I can give them my time and support.
Under the nose: I can pray for them, completely trusting and visualizing that each one of my children is being surrounded with a spiritual team that's comforting, guiding, and protecting them.
Chin: I can tap to release my own stress, trusting that I also have a spiritual support team that's helping me to raise these children.
Collarbone: I can calm my mind and heart and listen for guidance to know what to say and how to move forward.
Under the arm: I can pray for spiritual support and guidance to help me be more loving and allowing and to help me remember my job is to be guiding, not controlling.
Top of the head: I can choose to see myself as a loving coach and remember that the part of me that feels a desperate need to control is just the part of me that's feeling consumed with fear and worry.
Inside of eyebrow: I can work on myself to release these difficult emotions so I can feel more clear- minded and insightful.
Side of eye: This will free me up to connect with my own inner wisdom and guidance for what I need to do next.
Under the eye: This will also help me to respond to my children in a more loving and empowered way.
Under the nose: I am choosing to feel calm and peaceful.
Chin: I am choosing to focus on the things that I can control.
Collarbone: I am choosing to focus on all the things that are going well and that I do appreciate about my family.
Under the arm: I am now choosing to focus on all the ways my children are gifted and capable. They are talented and brilliant and I'm choosing to appreciate and compliment all their gifts and strengths.
Top of the head: I am choosing to focus on all of my talents and gifts as a parent. I'm doing the best that I know how and I appreciate me for loving my family and working to do the best I can. I'm choosing to feel calm and peaceful right now.
Take a few deep breaths and release the stress and tension.
The wonderful thing about doing this kind of tapping is it helps to clear out the stress when we are having a heart wrenching need to feel like our kids are (our version) of "okay."
When we come from a place of fear and worry it can be difficult if not impossible to approach them without an agenda. When we have our own agenda (no matter how well meaning) our kids can feel it and will resist connecting with us.
The more we can release the fear and come to them with a feeling of peace and clarity, the more open they will feel and the easier the connection will be.
If you liked this article and this kind of information, please come join my private group on Facebook. I have created this group to be a secure setting where we can talk about emotional healing and great ways to work with it. If you're interested, click here to join!