How to Bring More Love into Your Life When You're Feeling Alone
It was a miserable day. I was feeling exhausted and burned out.
Do you ever have days like this? Where you just feel like an invisible work horse? Like everything you do is vitally important but only noticed when it’s not done??
I found myself grabbing handfuls of jelly beans and chocolate Easter eggs which I think was my own desperate attempt to give myself a boost so I could keep going. The laundry, dishes, and bills weren’t going to do themselves right?.... (This is significant, if you’re a part of my closed group on Facebook, we have been discussing the emotional contributors that cause cravings for all kinds of different foods. It’s fascinating how much you can find out about your inner life simply from examining the types of food you crave. To find out more, if you haven’t already click here to join the group!)
Sitting at my computer eating my jelly beans, I happened to open my email and caught a 5 minute clip of Margaret Lynch during one of her live events. During this clip, she said something that really stuck with me. She said, “I know there are people out there who say, 'it’s okay, it’s okay, I don’t need a thank you,' Well you know what, I do need recognition and I do need a thank you!”
I wasn’t sure what to think about this idea... I knew she was onto something really important yet I couldn’t quite figure out what I was missing. Then boom! It hit me like a ton of bricks! Of course! I was not willing to "need" the "thank you's" "recognition" and support or others. Absolutely not! It's not okay to need those things or is it?.... Let's explore this more....
***Make sure to check out the tapping clearing for this, you'll be amazed how different it makes you feel.
I think most of us were probably wounded or hurt at least once in our lives, especially when we were little. Imagine coming home as a child, all excited to announce something you felt was really big news. Maybe mom was super busy with company, gone, or just consumed with bills (who knows?!) and didn’t give you the recognition you were so excited for.
Or maybe you worked really hard to clean something, take on a big project, or do something unexpected and you were all excited to see someone’s face light up with a huge thank you and instead you got a criticism such as, “why did you do it that way, or you missed that spot, etc.”
These kinds of moments are inevitable and will happen to every single one of us. Why? Because as people, we’re all super busy and consumed with our own problems and thoughts. There’s bound to be a scenario somewhere in everyone’s lives where they didn’t get the love, thank you, validation, recognition, acknowledgement, whatever.... That they really hoped for and needed and it hurt so much!!
So after this kind of thing happens a few times, the survival part of us inevitably kicks in and says, “You know what? I’m not going to need anything, it hurts too much to want, need, or expect it. I’m better off on my own.” These are the moments we literally close our hearts off and don’t even realize it.
As a collective society, it’s kind of frowned on to be the person who needs the credit, the thank you, the pat on the back, etc. It’s criticized and looked down on. I think the general consensus is “Can’t you be the bigger person and just give anonymously?” It’s not cool to be the guy or gal that needs the credit right? It can make you feel petty and small.. so I think most people have on a lot of levels just decided it’s not okay to need or want “thank you’s” and acknowledgements. Hence for the most part, it’s common to live with our hearts a little bit or a lot closed..
Yet, here’s the irony.. When it comes to your own life, who would you rather help out and be around... someone who “is fine, determined to not need anyone,” or someone who is in touch with how much they need, love, and appreciate the support?
See the difference???? I literally didn’t until I did some energy clearing to work this through... But you know what??? I did the tapping (I’m including below) and it literally opened my heart center. I felt immediately lighter and more connected with everyone, even the gas station cashier! Can you believe that? She smiled so big at me and wanted to tell me all about her day! It was awesome!
So... Here’s the Meridian Tapping clearing I used to incorporate all of this and open my heart. (When it’s open, you draw love and great things to you just like a magnet!) Try it out and see if it changes how you see and relate with others... Please share in the comments what you experience or discover as a result!
P.S. If you’ve never heard of it, Meridian Tapping is a form of Energy Psychology. It works to clear and release emotional blockages. If you’re new to this, I know it will seem strange but if you think about it... emotion is really just “energy in motion.” All negative emotion is caused by disruptions in the body’s energy system, that’s why it hurts! Negative emotion means the energy is stuck and unable to move. When you tap directly on the body’s energy system in conjunction with the painful emotion, you help clear the blockage and allow the energy to move. So.. in a nutshell, you can actually dissolve the emotional charge and calm things down in a few minutes. If you want more specifics about how and why it works, click here.
Using your fingertips, tap the following acupuncture points below while making the accompanying statements:
Side of hand: Even though I really need to be loved, valued, celebrated, understood, and appreciated...this has been painful, I’ve tried so hard not to need it, but I kind of do. I don’t want to be someone who needs recognition and a thank you. I should be someone who can do good things anonymously. I am willing to love both parts of me; the part of me that values humility and the part of me that needs celebration and connection. It’s okay. I need both parts of me.
Even though sometimes I work so hard and it feels like no one values or even notices and it hurts, I love and accept myself, I’m doing the best I know how.
Even though sometimes I work just as hard to create a big break-though and it hurts because no one’s there to celebrate and share the moment with me, I love and accept myself even though it has felt like no one’s really there for me.
Inside of Eyebrow: This has happened a lot in my life so I think I’ve made the decision over and over again to just not need anyone.
Side of the Eye: At the time, it felt less painful to just plan on going it alone.
Under the Eye: It’s terrible to need and want recognition, celebration, something?!.. and not to get it.
Under the Nose: I’d rather go it alone and not need anyone at least then it wouldn’t hurt so bad when it didn’t’ happen.. I really love the part of me that would rather not need anything from any one. This is the part of me that doesn’t want to be needy or that person who needs all the credit for things.
Chin: I’ve always believed that being the bigger person requires you to give without a need for anything in return. That’s what it means to be self-less doesn’t it?
Collarbone: Not needing anything or anyone has felt like a noble goal.
Under the Arm: Yet, I had no idea that by closing this needy part of myself off, I actually closed my heart and consequently myself off from others.
Top of the Head: It has kept me from really loving people and letting them know how much I need and value their support and presence in my life.
Inside of Eyebrow: I wonder if this has actually made the people in my life feel expendable and like they don’t matter.
Side of Eye: I am realizing that when I allow myself to admit that I DO NEED THEM, THEY FEEL MORE VALUED AND RECOGNIZED FOR WHO THEY ARE.
Under the Eye: It actually feels really good to recognize how much I love and really do need others.
Under the Nose: When I recognize this, I think it allows me to “see” them more fully, with my heart, not just my eyes. I actually feel their value and inner light and it’s really cool.
Chin: It feels good to know that when I allow myself to need others, it allows me to celebrate them.
Collarbone: When I celebrate them, I can actually allow them to appreciate and celebrate me. I can allow myself to feel and connect more with any compliment or input they are willing to give me.
Under the arm: When I allow myself to need the praise and recognition I can really allow myself to love the person and celebrate their presence in my life, which means, the compliment reaches and touches my heart in a deeper way. I can genuinely receive it.
Top of Head: This is such a different way of seeing my life. I can already feel that it’s changing everything. I am grateful my heart is feeling more open.
Take a few deep breaths....
Did you notice any epiphanies or discoveries during this tapping? If so, please share in the comments.
For me, I realized that this mindset will help me better connect with others, especially my family and it gives me the courage to ask for support when I need it. It just makes the journey that is life, far more rewarding and fun. I haven’t been lonely and suffering along the way because no one understands or gets me... I only suffer when I close my heart.
Hugs, thanks for reading.
Are you on Facebook? If so, I have started a closed group where we can discuss emotional stuff and just life in a safe and supportive community. It has been so much fun. Here's the link if you want to be a part of it. https://www.facebook.com/groups/472209382982081/