What the People Who are Irritating You the Most are Trying to Tell You!
4 steps to getting the message so you can be at peace in all situations and in anyone's company.
Isn't it the worst when you feel annoyed and irritated by the people around you? This last couple of weeks I noticed that I wasn't being as kind as I wanted to be so I spent several hours tapping, meditating, and praying, hoping to just clear this uncomfortable state out of my life. But instead, what came to my mind was the Universal Truth, "Everyone we come into contact with is a mirror of us in some way or another." What came to me next was, "Your feelings of annoyance aren't the problem right now, your own self-hatred is."
I wasn't sure how I was going to apply this newly found insight until I found myself in yet another aggravating situation. Amidst this difficult time, I discovered 4 simple steps that helped me to apply this truth. The 4 steps were so simple and effective that I wanted to share them with you!
So here's what happened. I was sitting in a restaurant having a much needed night out with my husband when I noticed the man sitting at a table across from us with a woman and another couple. He was driving me crazy! He was talking so loud I could hear exactly what he was saying. As much as I didn't want to listen, I noticed that he was going off like he was an expert on something I knew he was absolutely not an expert in, CHILDBIRTH and the best anesthesia options. He was making all kinds of snide remarks that in my opinion were annoying and ridiculous. He was laughing so loud at his own jokes I thought the restaurant walls would shake.
Yet here's the funny thing, I said to my husband, "Can you believe that guy?" Guess what, my husband hadn't even noticed him! He had no idea what was bothering me! This is when I knew there was a message here for me.
So here's the 4 steps that helped me get the message and have a wonderful evening.
1. Acknowledge what it is that you don't like.
Example: I acknowledged what specifically it was about this guy that was bugging me. I noticed that what stood out to me was he seemed to be sharing more than his wife or girlfriend was comfortable with. He was running right over the top of her and not considering her feelings or opinion at all. (I could have been seeing it completely wrong, but how I was seeing it is all I needed if I'm following the "everyone's a mirror" truth. So you just have to go with what it seems is happening based on your perception.)
2. Determine what this person might have been needing or trying to accomplish and the similarities in your own life. Have you ever done anything like this because you had a similar need or were having a bad day and didn't handle the stress well?
Example: After I narrowed down what was bugging me, I decided that maybe this guy was feeling insecure and wanted so much to impress the other couple, wanted to be liked and accepted, that he lost his ability to notice how the person he cared about most was feeling. Then I realized, I've done something like that, worried so much about looking cool, or being the center of attention, that I've thrown caution to the wind and said something foolish that hurt or bothered someone I deeply care about.
3. Love, accept, and forgive this part of yourself.
This is easy to do. Just place your palm on the center of your chest (activating the heart center) and make the following kinds of statements:
"I am willing to love and accept the part of me that has done ______ at some point in my life in an effort to _______ because I needed _____. I am now choosing to lovingly release that part of me and this situation with forgiveness and understanding."
Example: "I am willing to love and accept the part of me that has shared too much, taken over a conversation, and hurt someone I care about in the past in an effort to be liked and accepted because I needed to feel important and valued. I am now choosing to lovingly release that part of me and this situation with forgiveness and understanding."
4. Take a few deep breaths and ask for the grace of kindness and compassion for yourself and this other person who has shown you a part of yourself you might not have seen or understood before.
Doing this simple process helped me to be more mindful of my behavior, more mindful of the people I love, and how I can be more considerate of them and what they're feeling. The best part was after I did this simple process in my mind, the man at the table next to me just faded out of my awareness. I no longer noticed him and I was able to enjoy my time with my husband.
Who would have thought that I could gain so much out of a potentially aggravating situation? What I've noticed so far is this process has helped me to be a more compassionate and insightful mother. I noticed that as I do these steps when the kids seem to be driving me crazy, I understand that it's myself that needs the healing, not them!
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